Today me and my father when to the VA hospital for one of his appointments. Just another day spent walking around a massive hospital to different areas. We ended up in the pharmacy waiting for a good amount of time just to be seen. But that’s not what this is about.
While sitting there watching the news that was on the TV, they began to cover Gay Marriage in France. Something I found positive, however not everyone is as excited as I am about it. A younger woman with her young child looked up at the TV and began to shake her head when they showed pictures of the first married couple. Her child didn’t seem phased by it and actually was somewhat intrigued. She looked down at him drawing his attention from the TV and shook her head again while mumbling something under her breath.
Now it could be unrelated to the news and she could have been reacting to something else, I won’t sit here and blatantly say that this woman took offence. However I’ve seen it before and I’d like to say a few things.
I think as a parent you have the right to raise them with similar values. To bring them up with your beliefs. However you should be careful when you do it. You don’t know whether your child will grow up to be LGBTQ or not and being hateful won’t “Keep them straight”. That’s not how that works. Honestly it will do more damage than anything.
If your child does turn out to be LGBTQ, they’ll have already picked up on your signs and have them in their head. They’ll be afraid for themselves as well as being afraid of you. It’s quite common for someone who’s gay to be extremely depressed even when their family doesn’t have much of an opinion, more or less it’s because they’re struggling with themselves. Quite a few LGBTQ youth become suicidal when they feel that they are wrong or in some way “diseased” and I don’t think any parent wants to see that.
I was lucky enough to grow up in a household where homosexuality wasn’t bashed. Honestly it wasn’t really talked about. I went through a period of feeling like something was wrong with me and a period of fear because I didn’t know where my family stood. But when I finally was out I had the love and support that any child should have.
I know anyone who is a parent against that’s against gays is going to take offence to this, and that’s completely understandable. But if you’ve made it this far let me just tell you this. I have quite a few friends who were raised in a bad environment. Most of which began to self harm and abuse different substances because they didn’t or couldn’t deal with the fear of being hated by their own parents. Some of them came out and their family’s adjusted, others didn’t. The ones who didn’t, now refuse to talk to their parents and some of the parents disowned their child. I can’t imagine anything more hurtful than that.
So please, if you have a child remember you should love them unconditionally, no exceptions. You may think you’re doing them a favor but at the same time you could be truly damaging and hurting them. I want you to have the freedom a parent should have and I think you should raise your child with your belief system, just as long as the system is friendly for everyone.